30 March 2007
Trip to Paris
Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I will probably not be posting this upcoming week. I am off to Paris to "chaperone" Mom's group of 8 students. If all works out with the internet at the apartment, the students will be blogging on their own address. You can read about their adventures at http://www.ochsinfrance.blogspot.com. I'll try to post, but it will be dependent on how long they use my laptop & how much time I have.
28 March 2007
Sexing the Cherry
OK, so the title may sound suggestive or weird, & maybe it is but I offer a new explanation. Sexing the Cherry is a crazy weird book by Jeanette Winterson. She uses TONS of myth, fairy tale, & biblical allusions. At first I really didn't like it, but once I got into it, I did. These are two of my favorite quotes from the book on running away & religion.
"... When I left England I thought I was running away. Running away from uncertainty and confusion but most of all running away from myself. I thought I might become someone else in time, grafted on to something better and stronger. And then I saw that the running away was a running towards. An effort to catch up with my fleet-footed self, living another life in a different way." - p. 86-87
"...God has had a great deal written about Him; nothing has been written about me. God is bigger, like my mother, easier to find, even in the dark. I could be anywhere, and since I can't describe myself I can't ask for help. We are alone in this quest, and Fortunata is rigt not to disguise it, though she may be wrong about love. I have met a great many pilgrims on their way towards God and I wonder why they have chosen to look for him rather than themselves. Perhaps I'm missing the point - perhaps whilst looking for someone else you might come across yorusef unexpectedly, in a garden somewhere or on a mountain watching the rain. But they don't seem to care about who they are. Some of them have told me that the very point of searching for God is to forget about oneself, to lose oneself for ever. But it is not difficult to lose oneself, or is it the ego they are talking about, the hollow, screaming cadaver that has no spirit within it?
I think that cadaver is only the ideal self run mad, and if the other life, the secret life, could be found & brought home, then a person might live in peace and have no need for God. After all, He has no need for us, being complete." -116
"... When I left England I thought I was running away. Running away from uncertainty and confusion but most of all running away from myself. I thought I might become someone else in time, grafted on to something better and stronger. And then I saw that the running away was a running towards. An effort to catch up with my fleet-footed self, living another life in a different way." - p. 86-87
"...God has had a great deal written about Him; nothing has been written about me. God is bigger, like my mother, easier to find, even in the dark. I could be anywhere, and since I can't describe myself I can't ask for help. We are alone in this quest, and Fortunata is rigt not to disguise it, though she may be wrong about love. I have met a great many pilgrims on their way towards God and I wonder why they have chosen to look for him rather than themselves. Perhaps I'm missing the point - perhaps whilst looking for someone else you might come across yorusef unexpectedly, in a garden somewhere or on a mountain watching the rain. But they don't seem to care about who they are. Some of them have told me that the very point of searching for God is to forget about oneself, to lose oneself for ever. But it is not difficult to lose oneself, or is it the ego they are talking about, the hollow, screaming cadaver that has no spirit within it?
I think that cadaver is only the ideal self run mad, and if the other life, the secret life, could be found & brought home, then a person might live in peace and have no need for God. After all, He has no need for us, being complete." -116
24 March 2007
Some Random Updates
I realize I haven't posted recently & I can explain why. I've been really busy! I had a paper due last Wednesday; I've started working in the evenings; I'm working on the dissertation; I was in London last weekend; and I've been dealing with other things.
So, the first update I should give you is on the housemate, Ravi. It took almost 2 weeks to figure out what we had to do to file a formal complaint. The administration over here is very inconsistent & don't seem to talk to one another! I go to one person who sends me to another who sends me to another & I feel like I had just wasted 3 hours of time. Finally we found someone who had an idea as to what we needed to do. It was really simple - write a letter explaining why everyone was upset with this housemate & have all the housemates sign it. Simple enough! It took 6 people to figure that out & even then, the last person I talked to "thought" that was what we had to do. So we wrote a 2 page letter explaining all that has been happening since September. Now we have to sit here & wait, which is my least favourite thing to do, until we hear something.
Since Ayan moved out, we recently acquired a new housemate in her room, illegally. Apparently the Chinese student who sublet the apartment to her to doing the same with another Chinese student, Emily. So the university is trying to contact this girl while Emily stays in our house. It's all a huge mess filled with way too much drama. Freddy & I just want things to settle down since we are the only two, & Emily if you count her, here over break. And since we are the only 2 here, I plan on completely cleaning this disgusting place. My floor needs to be vacuumed pretty badly, but not as badly as the rest of the house needing to be swept, mopped, & vacuumed. You would think we lived like pigs if you saw our floors. So this weekend I may sweep & mop the kitchen as it is the most vile looking & then do the bathrooms. I will have to wait until Monday to get a vacuum from the super's office. I also need to laundry ... though I figured out last night that I can go a week & a half more without needing to. But after a week & a half, I'll be desparate for socks & underwear!
I've started working in the evenings as well at a hotel that has just opened. One of the other MA English students, Lucy, got a job there, so I put in my application. I was hired about 2 weeks ago to waitress in the restaurant. Lucy & I haven't worked together :-(, but I think we'll see each other Easter Sunday as we are both scheduled to work. So I typically work 5-11pm, but have to leave at 4 to get there on time because of the buses & then don't get home 'til midnight because of the buses. Wish they could pay me for my travel time. Oh, and I have also figured out that I don't want to be a waitress for life. I don't think I could hack it!
What else? Oh, my paper. I had a paper to write for my Communication & Persuasion class. We had to analyze a Welsh political speech - now the problem. I don't like politics. I don't understand politics. And I'm not Welsh. So it was a little difficult to understand the context of everything, but once I figured that out, I was golden! I think I did really well on the essay (watch me jinx it now). Helen, the professor, gave us our other paper topic, but I wasn't really feeling any of the questions we could answer, so I'm waiting to hear back from her on my idea for a paper. I want to analyze MLK's "I Have a Dream" along side a speech by Malcolm X or JFK on the civil rights movement. I think it would be very interesting. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will approve it.
I've also kinda sorta but not really started work on my Myth & Fairytale essay. Basically, I know what I want to write about. We have to use 2 of the novels we read in class & compare them the myths & fairytales we read. So I am using Bronte's Jane Eyre & du Maurier's Rebecca. Now the hard part - I'm looking at the use of dreams. I will definitely use the British Robber Bridegroom version called Mr. Fox. And I may find some ways to pull in Beauty & the Beast & Cinderella. I'm looking for some myths that deal with dreams as well, so if anyone knows of any, do let me know!!! I'm going to try to find some way to pull in the Disney movies as well since Sleeping Beauty & Cinderella both sing about dreams - "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream" & "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep." So we'll see what comes out of that.
I've also been working on my dissertation, though not as much as I would have liked (hence why I am up so early today). I'm still reading The Moonstone which is quite lengthy but an easy read because it has a good pace to it. The only problem is that I have had to read other novels for classes, write papers, & do everything else. So I just haven't devoted as much time on TMS as I would have liked so far. The biggest problem is that I have to send my dissertation superviser a chapter on Sunday!!! I have 3000 words, but it's crap.
Oh! I went to London last weekend. Two of my sorority sisters were there, so I went to hang out with them. Marci Cornett is studying at Regent's College & Amanda Arnett who graduated with me came over to visit Marci. Since London was only a few hours away, I planned a weekend away to visit. We had a lot of fun though I only have 3 pictures & a video of Amanda dancing to document it.
Zoe & I saw Great Expectations on stage last night. Surprisingly good, especially with the few actors, costumes, & props they had. Very well put together & easy to follow without having read the book, though I want to go back & re-read it.
That's about everything in my life. I leave for London on Friday & then Paris on Saturday. Can't wait to get out of here. I'm hoping it will be slightly warmer on the continent than on the island. Freddy is going with me to "chaperone" the students, though I told Mom I was just a glorified chaperone because it was my spring break as well. Zoe & 2 of her friends will also be in Paris at the same time, so we're going to get together some nights & go out. I can't wait. It'll be fun! Then Freddy & I go to Ireland with 2 of his German friends at the end of the month. We're renting a car so we will have more flexibility. That will certainly be an adventure.
Hope all is well in the US & everyone has been enjoying the first few days of spring!
So, the first update I should give you is on the housemate, Ravi. It took almost 2 weeks to figure out what we had to do to file a formal complaint. The administration over here is very inconsistent & don't seem to talk to one another! I go to one person who sends me to another who sends me to another & I feel like I had just wasted 3 hours of time. Finally we found someone who had an idea as to what we needed to do. It was really simple - write a letter explaining why everyone was upset with this housemate & have all the housemates sign it. Simple enough! It took 6 people to figure that out & even then, the last person I talked to "thought" that was what we had to do. So we wrote a 2 page letter explaining all that has been happening since September. Now we have to sit here & wait, which is my least favourite thing to do, until we hear something.
Since Ayan moved out, we recently acquired a new housemate in her room, illegally. Apparently the Chinese student who sublet the apartment to her to doing the same with another Chinese student, Emily. So the university is trying to contact this girl while Emily stays in our house. It's all a huge mess filled with way too much drama. Freddy & I just want things to settle down since we are the only two, & Emily if you count her, here over break. And since we are the only 2 here, I plan on completely cleaning this disgusting place. My floor needs to be vacuumed pretty badly, but not as badly as the rest of the house needing to be swept, mopped, & vacuumed. You would think we lived like pigs if you saw our floors. So this weekend I may sweep & mop the kitchen as it is the most vile looking & then do the bathrooms. I will have to wait until Monday to get a vacuum from the super's office. I also need to laundry ... though I figured out last night that I can go a week & a half more without needing to. But after a week & a half, I'll be desparate for socks & underwear!
I've started working in the evenings as well at a hotel that has just opened. One of the other MA English students, Lucy, got a job there, so I put in my application. I was hired about 2 weeks ago to waitress in the restaurant. Lucy & I haven't worked together :-(, but I think we'll see each other Easter Sunday as we are both scheduled to work. So I typically work 5-11pm, but have to leave at 4 to get there on time because of the buses & then don't get home 'til midnight because of the buses. Wish they could pay me for my travel time. Oh, and I have also figured out that I don't want to be a waitress for life. I don't think I could hack it!
What else? Oh, my paper. I had a paper to write for my Communication & Persuasion class. We had to analyze a Welsh political speech - now the problem. I don't like politics. I don't understand politics. And I'm not Welsh. So it was a little difficult to understand the context of everything, but once I figured that out, I was golden! I think I did really well on the essay (watch me jinx it now). Helen, the professor, gave us our other paper topic, but I wasn't really feeling any of the questions we could answer, so I'm waiting to hear back from her on my idea for a paper. I want to analyze MLK's "I Have a Dream" along side a speech by Malcolm X or JFK on the civil rights movement. I think it would be very interesting. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will approve it.
I've also kinda sorta but not really started work on my Myth & Fairytale essay. Basically, I know what I want to write about. We have to use 2 of the novels we read in class & compare them the myths & fairytales we read. So I am using Bronte's Jane Eyre & du Maurier's Rebecca. Now the hard part - I'm looking at the use of dreams. I will definitely use the British Robber Bridegroom version called Mr. Fox. And I may find some ways to pull in Beauty & the Beast & Cinderella. I'm looking for some myths that deal with dreams as well, so if anyone knows of any, do let me know!!! I'm going to try to find some way to pull in the Disney movies as well since Sleeping Beauty & Cinderella both sing about dreams - "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream" & "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep." So we'll see what comes out of that.
I've also been working on my dissertation, though not as much as I would have liked (hence why I am up so early today). I'm still reading The Moonstone which is quite lengthy but an easy read because it has a good pace to it. The only problem is that I have had to read other novels for classes, write papers, & do everything else. So I just haven't devoted as much time on TMS as I would have liked so far. The biggest problem is that I have to send my dissertation superviser a chapter on Sunday!!! I have 3000 words, but it's crap.
Oh! I went to London last weekend. Two of my sorority sisters were there, so I went to hang out with them. Marci Cornett is studying at Regent's College & Amanda Arnett who graduated with me came over to visit Marci. Since London was only a few hours away, I planned a weekend away to visit. We had a lot of fun though I only have 3 pictures & a video of Amanda dancing to document it.
Zoe & I saw Great Expectations on stage last night. Surprisingly good, especially with the few actors, costumes, & props they had. Very well put together & easy to follow without having read the book, though I want to go back & re-read it.
That's about everything in my life. I leave for London on Friday & then Paris on Saturday. Can't wait to get out of here. I'm hoping it will be slightly warmer on the continent than on the island. Freddy is going with me to "chaperone" the students, though I told Mom I was just a glorified chaperone because it was my spring break as well. Zoe & 2 of her friends will also be in Paris at the same time, so we're going to get together some nights & go out. I can't wait. It'll be fun! Then Freddy & I go to Ireland with 2 of his German friends at the end of the month. We're renting a car so we will have more flexibility. That will certainly be an adventure.
Hope all is well in the US & everyone has been enjoying the first few days of spring!
09 March 2007
What gives men the right to ____?
Fill in the blank for yourself.
What gives men the right to ...
- be a jerk?
- think the world revolves around them?
- hit a woman?
Those are three answers that can describe ONE person in our household. You would probably initially guess that this person is one of the younger guys, but in fact, these describe the elder "gentleman" of the house.
Yes, our 50-year-old dad is best described by these questions. And what gives him the right to do these things? Well, your guess is as good as mine. So what exactly has been happening since I last wrote of our house dynamics?
Well, I feel like I'm back on Survivor Island: Hendrefoelan. Everything had been going along quite well - everyone was being pleasant & happy & no trouble. I have no clue what triggered everything, but all of a sudden the proverbial shit hit the fan. Ravi seemed to be picking fights with everyone, but Ayan & I seemed to be the biggest targets.
We'll discuss my battles first because they are peanuts compared to the row with Ayan. Ravi, one day, asked me what I planned on doing after I finished at UWS. I told him about the job offer in Germany that I hadn't accepted at the time. He, of course, told me I should move back home & get married. Well, we all know that went over well with me. But I was good - I didn't lash out. I just left the kitchen. So I avoided him for some time because he just ticks me off ... all the time. Then last week, he asked if I had accepted the position in Germany. I had & told him so. He immediately started in on needing an escape clause because he didn't think I would like it because I would get homesick & would want to move home & get married. Whatever. Hence the comment - I will stay there for a year. I do not need an escape clause & if I can live with you all for a year, I can do anything for a year. Yes, I think I shocked him. He merely shook his head & left the kitchen. We were even.
Now, Ayan's battles. Poor Ayan! And for me to say that says a lot because I really don't care for her in many aspects. Though Ayan often acts like a princess, she has greatly toned it down since she went home at Christmas. She's been much more pleasant & less of a nuisance though she still has her quirks that grate on my nerves. Anyway, that's beside the point. I think this all started last week. Ayan went out with some friends & proceeded to misjudge her limitations on alcohol & came home appropriately sloshed. (Much of the following information was gained from Freddy who witnessed the entire thing.) Apparently her friends drove her own, but could not get her out of the car. So they knocked on Freddy's window & asked if he could help them get her out of the car into bed. Freddy & Ravi came out of the house to get her, but Ayan locked herself in the backseat of the car. Ravi called security who "dragged her out like an animal" according to him. Ayan proceeded to get sick & Freddy, trained as an EMT & working with the Red Cross, immediately assumed the role of caretaker. He eventually got her to bed a few hours later. Of course, Ravi is standing there the entire time. The following morning, I see him in the kitchen & he proceeds to tell me all about it (I had already heard it from Freddy the night it happened). Ravi's version & Freddy's were completely different & I have to say I believe Freddy's version.
Then on Sunday, I was in my room doing work. Again, Freddy provided the information to this incident as he was present (as was his girlfriend). Freddy was in the kitchen looking for a pan to cook dinner in for he & Pipper. Ayan was in there eating & Ravi was there as well. Ravi went looking for a pan (which have been disappearing & I'm beginning to think he is taking them but I could be wrong). He started going through all the cabinets. When he opened Ayan's, Ayan told him it was her cabinet & he was not welcome to look in it. Ravi apparently got upset at the tone of voice Ayan used & raised his hand to Ayan like he was going to hit her & came close until Freddy went off on him. Ravi supposedly told Freddy that the reason he DIDN'T strike Ayan was because he was a gentleman. Freddy's comment was that he were a gentleman, he never would have raised his hand to her to begin with. One point for Freddy on that quick retort!
On Tuesday, yet another incident that I was able to hear, not witness. Matt & I had eaten dinner while Ayan was cooking. Once we were finished, we cleaned up & went to do work. Before I left, Ravi walked in. I had opened the windows because Ayan was cooking something really spicy. What happened next is complete guesswork on my part - from my own opinions & stories from various other people. While I was in my room, less than 5 minutes later, I heard Ayan screaming. I must say for such a little girl, she has a set of lungs! Then I heard some of her Chinese friends yelling at her no open the door & she came out crying & then left. I went downstairs to see what had happened & Ravi stood in the doorway with a little smile on his face, which I thought was quite odd as I hardly see him smile. He asked if "she" had come up to my room- guessing he meant Ayan, I said no, she hadn't. When Ayan eventually came back, I went down to check on her. Our other Chinese housemate Lan & one of the tutors (like an RA) were in the kitchen talking to Ayan. I asked Ayan what had happened. When Ravi came into the kitchen, he had pulled the drapes shut. Ayan opened them. Ravi shut them. Apparently they had a battle over the drapes being opened or shut. When Ayan went to open them again, Ravi grabbed her arm (leaving a small bruise) & raised his hand to her. That was when she screamed. Now, what Ravi is telling everyone is that Ayan hit him first, which I don't see as plausible because I have NEVER seen Ayan go to strike someone & her culture dictates that she respect men. Hence, she probably did not hit him until he grabbed her & hitting him was in self defense.
So the tutor asked if Freddy & I would be able the following night so they could speak to a neutral party. I said I was but wasn't sure about Freddy. After the tutor left, I texted Freddy & told him what had happened, so he stopped by the tutors' house before coming home. Freddy's biggest fear is that Ravi may strike one of the other women in the house & suggested that I might be next since Ravi & I argue often. (Though I think if Ravi went to strike me, he wouldn't know who or what he was dealing with as he has yet to see my red-headed temper.) One of the tutors stopped by Wednesday to get my view of the story & to comment on the dynamics of the house since we moved in September. I, of course, had to let her know that Ravi has never liked Ayan, always describing her as a savage or an animal.
Now we await the tutors' decision as to what happens next. There is the potential that Ravi could be moved out of the house, which would delight all of us. But the tutor who met with me said there is a good chance that Ravi may not be in the wrong. So we are all to be on our "best" behavior & we are to make sure that Ayan is never in the kitchen alone with Ravi. Now I have become a baby-sitter on top of being the mother which is quite ridiculous & unnecessary. I honestly hope that Ravi will be kicked out - I do not see why he continues to live in a house with 7 other younger (in their 20s) students. There are plenty of vacancies in other university managed residencies that are more conducive to an older man & his studies. And I think what irks me the most is that he tells his wife about EVERYTHING that happens in the house - including Ayan's drunken behavior & my argument with him. And of course he probably spins the stories to fit his view, which his wife will in turn believe. And it makes me wonder if he has ever struck his wife, but I doubt he has because she is probably a very passive housewife. And if he says various things to me about what I should do when he doesn't even know me, I wonder how he treats his 2 daughters. I am sure that as soon as they graduate college, they will be married off to some male chauvinist pig who thinks like their father. Such a sad fate when the oldest is absolutely brilliant & is a just turned 17-year-old freshman at Brown University's computer science department. Guess she won't go to graduate school because her place is in the home.
So what entitles men to hit a woman? His own sense of superiority? Or is he justified?
I'll let you know what the outcome of the whole saga is.
On a lighter note, I received a really awesome quote from a dear friend, Carlos. When talking about marriage, he said - "The famous and really cool New York socialite, Brooke Astor, once said: 'I married beneath me - Every woman does.'"
What gives men the right to ...
- be a jerk?
- think the world revolves around them?
- hit a woman?
Those are three answers that can describe ONE person in our household. You would probably initially guess that this person is one of the younger guys, but in fact, these describe the elder "gentleman" of the house.
Yes, our 50-year-old dad is best described by these questions. And what gives him the right to do these things? Well, your guess is as good as mine. So what exactly has been happening since I last wrote of our house dynamics?
Well, I feel like I'm back on Survivor Island: Hendrefoelan. Everything had been going along quite well - everyone was being pleasant & happy & no trouble. I have no clue what triggered everything, but all of a sudden the proverbial shit hit the fan. Ravi seemed to be picking fights with everyone, but Ayan & I seemed to be the biggest targets.
We'll discuss my battles first because they are peanuts compared to the row with Ayan. Ravi, one day, asked me what I planned on doing after I finished at UWS. I told him about the job offer in Germany that I hadn't accepted at the time. He, of course, told me I should move back home & get married. Well, we all know that went over well with me. But I was good - I didn't lash out. I just left the kitchen. So I avoided him for some time because he just ticks me off ... all the time. Then last week, he asked if I had accepted the position in Germany. I had & told him so. He immediately started in on needing an escape clause because he didn't think I would like it because I would get homesick & would want to move home & get married. Whatever. Hence the comment - I will stay there for a year. I do not need an escape clause & if I can live with you all for a year, I can do anything for a year. Yes, I think I shocked him. He merely shook his head & left the kitchen. We were even.
Now, Ayan's battles. Poor Ayan! And for me to say that says a lot because I really don't care for her in many aspects. Though Ayan often acts like a princess, she has greatly toned it down since she went home at Christmas. She's been much more pleasant & less of a nuisance though she still has her quirks that grate on my nerves. Anyway, that's beside the point. I think this all started last week. Ayan went out with some friends & proceeded to misjudge her limitations on alcohol & came home appropriately sloshed. (Much of the following information was gained from Freddy who witnessed the entire thing.) Apparently her friends drove her own, but could not get her out of the car. So they knocked on Freddy's window & asked if he could help them get her out of the car into bed. Freddy & Ravi came out of the house to get her, but Ayan locked herself in the backseat of the car. Ravi called security who "dragged her out like an animal" according to him. Ayan proceeded to get sick & Freddy, trained as an EMT & working with the Red Cross, immediately assumed the role of caretaker. He eventually got her to bed a few hours later. Of course, Ravi is standing there the entire time. The following morning, I see him in the kitchen & he proceeds to tell me all about it (I had already heard it from Freddy the night it happened). Ravi's version & Freddy's were completely different & I have to say I believe Freddy's version.
Then on Sunday, I was in my room doing work. Again, Freddy provided the information to this incident as he was present (as was his girlfriend). Freddy was in the kitchen looking for a pan to cook dinner in for he & Pipper. Ayan was in there eating & Ravi was there as well. Ravi went looking for a pan (which have been disappearing & I'm beginning to think he is taking them but I could be wrong). He started going through all the cabinets. When he opened Ayan's, Ayan told him it was her cabinet & he was not welcome to look in it. Ravi apparently got upset at the tone of voice Ayan used & raised his hand to Ayan like he was going to hit her & came close until Freddy went off on him. Ravi supposedly told Freddy that the reason he DIDN'T strike Ayan was because he was a gentleman. Freddy's comment was that he were a gentleman, he never would have raised his hand to her to begin with. One point for Freddy on that quick retort!
On Tuesday, yet another incident that I was able to hear, not witness. Matt & I had eaten dinner while Ayan was cooking. Once we were finished, we cleaned up & went to do work. Before I left, Ravi walked in. I had opened the windows because Ayan was cooking something really spicy. What happened next is complete guesswork on my part - from my own opinions & stories from various other people. While I was in my room, less than 5 minutes later, I heard Ayan screaming. I must say for such a little girl, she has a set of lungs! Then I heard some of her Chinese friends yelling at her no open the door & she came out crying & then left. I went downstairs to see what had happened & Ravi stood in the doorway with a little smile on his face, which I thought was quite odd as I hardly see him smile. He asked if "she" had come up to my room- guessing he meant Ayan, I said no, she hadn't. When Ayan eventually came back, I went down to check on her. Our other Chinese housemate Lan & one of the tutors (like an RA) were in the kitchen talking to Ayan. I asked Ayan what had happened. When Ravi came into the kitchen, he had pulled the drapes shut. Ayan opened them. Ravi shut them. Apparently they had a battle over the drapes being opened or shut. When Ayan went to open them again, Ravi grabbed her arm (leaving a small bruise) & raised his hand to her. That was when she screamed. Now, what Ravi is telling everyone is that Ayan hit him first, which I don't see as plausible because I have NEVER seen Ayan go to strike someone & her culture dictates that she respect men. Hence, she probably did not hit him until he grabbed her & hitting him was in self defense.
So the tutor asked if Freddy & I would be able the following night so they could speak to a neutral party. I said I was but wasn't sure about Freddy. After the tutor left, I texted Freddy & told him what had happened, so he stopped by the tutors' house before coming home. Freddy's biggest fear is that Ravi may strike one of the other women in the house & suggested that I might be next since Ravi & I argue often. (Though I think if Ravi went to strike me, he wouldn't know who or what he was dealing with as he has yet to see my red-headed temper.) One of the tutors stopped by Wednesday to get my view of the story & to comment on the dynamics of the house since we moved in September. I, of course, had to let her know that Ravi has never liked Ayan, always describing her as a savage or an animal.
Now we await the tutors' decision as to what happens next. There is the potential that Ravi could be moved out of the house, which would delight all of us. But the tutor who met with me said there is a good chance that Ravi may not be in the wrong. So we are all to be on our "best" behavior & we are to make sure that Ayan is never in the kitchen alone with Ravi. Now I have become a baby-sitter on top of being the mother which is quite ridiculous & unnecessary. I honestly hope that Ravi will be kicked out - I do not see why he continues to live in a house with 7 other younger (in their 20s) students. There are plenty of vacancies in other university managed residencies that are more conducive to an older man & his studies. And I think what irks me the most is that he tells his wife about EVERYTHING that happens in the house - including Ayan's drunken behavior & my argument with him. And of course he probably spins the stories to fit his view, which his wife will in turn believe. And it makes me wonder if he has ever struck his wife, but I doubt he has because she is probably a very passive housewife. And if he says various things to me about what I should do when he doesn't even know me, I wonder how he treats his 2 daughters. I am sure that as soon as they graduate college, they will be married off to some male chauvinist pig who thinks like their father. Such a sad fate when the oldest is absolutely brilliant & is a just turned 17-year-old freshman at Brown University's computer science department. Guess she won't go to graduate school because her place is in the home.
So what entitles men to hit a woman? His own sense of superiority? Or is he justified?
I'll let you know what the outcome of the whole saga is.
On a lighter note, I received a really awesome quote from a dear friend, Carlos. When talking about marriage, he said - "The famous and really cool New York socialite, Brooke Astor, once said: 'I married beneath me - Every woman does.'"
05 March 2007
Sitting on a Secret
Many of you, friends and family, have posed the one question I thoroughly dislike these days: “What are you doing next year after you leave Wales?” Well, me being me, always finds a way to skirt the issue, answering with an elusive “I don’t know.” And I know how much so many of you dislike this answer. So I usually concluded with “I’ll figure something out.” Teaching at OCHS theoretically has been out of the question since I would not be finished with dissertation writing until September or October at the latest. I toyed with taking a summer course at Swansea to get my Teaching English as a Foreign Language certification, even sent out some job applications to language schools in Paris to begin teaching in September, but alas, the French don’t want me. I really had no desire to come back to the US just yet, after all I would only be working as a substitute teacher and at Bath and Body Works. Frankly, I’ve done the substitute teaching stint for 6-weeks and as much as I enjoyed it, I’d rather have my own classroom and not someone else’s. BBW is always a nice thought, but I doubt I would get enough hours to satisfy my need to do something for a year. Honestly, my options in the US were quite limited if I didn’t return by August to teach. I could always do another degree – after all, Franciscan University thought I was entering this fall until I emailed them to inform them that I was not. But I have found something to do for a year. Something that will probably shock, well, all of you. So, for that reason, I hope you are sitting down, which you should be anyway if you are at your computer reading this. I, dear family and friends, am moving to Germany in August.
Yes, I said Germany. As in the people who speak German which I have no knowledge of. Yes, the Germany that is next to France and some other countries (just because I taught Geography doesn’t mean I remember it!).
Now you’re next question will be, “What are you going to do there?” Well, the obvious answer is working. Now I have spoken of getting my TEFL certification and applying for jobs in Paris. I could always do that in Germany, but instead, I am really going to throw you for a loop. I am moving to Germany to become an au pair for a year. Now, for those of you who do not know what an au pair is, I must explain. An au pair typically is a young girl who moves to another country, lives with a family who has children, and essentially becomes a live-in baby-sitter for a period of time. I like to think of her as a big sister to the kids. Most work 30 hours a week – getting the kids to school, cooking, cleaning the house, chauffering the kids to after school activities, and the like. They do get a weekly allowance that may seem meager by conventional standards. So, yes, I, Katie Bartlett, Miss Feminist-I-Won’t-Be-a-Housewife-and-Will-Do-What-I-Want, is completely embracing the domestic patriarchal world to move into a kitchen and look after kids. I told you I would throw you for a loop! Now don’t think I am bowing to all the crap I argue against. Instead I see myself as embracing the domestic life for a year only because it benefits me. And, after all, I am not one to do what people think I should do (i.e. moved to Wales for a year instead of getting a degree at home or working). Consider this my rebellion against your expectations of me. After all, if you tell me I can’t do something, then I probably will go and do it … and remarkably well, I might add.
So here I am, moving to Germany. Now let me tell you about what exactly I am doing. The family I am, in a sense, adopting for a year live on a farm in the northern region of Germany. They are 2 hours from Hamburg (big city) and 20 minutes from Cuxhaven (tourist area because of the awesome beaches). The father is German, the mother is American. Dagmar (mom) grew up in Chicago in a Germany family, went to the University of IL and got her degree in engineering. She moved to Germany to work for DOW, got married to Jurgen, and now they have two daughters who are 5 and 7. Because Dagmar was raised in the US, the family does speak English. Like I said, they live on a farm. They raise up to 400 piglets at any given time as well as farm the land. Dagmar will begin student teaching this fall since she is no longer working for DOW. They are owned by 4 cats, 3 horses, and a dog, so I think I will fit in quite well. The girls and Dagmar take riding lessons weekly. The girls also have a variety of after school activities. I will be responsible for getting the girls on the bus for school, cleaning up after breakfast, cooking/heating lunch, and making sure the girls do their homework. I will drive them to their various activities, including riding lessons. Essentially, I will work 30 hours a week and have the weekends off. That’s what I do for the family.
Now my benefits are pretty sweet in my opinion. First off, they provide me with my own private room and bath (which Dagmar has just informed me that I will get to redecorate once I move in). I have complete run of the kitchen as far as food goes, so I can eat whatever is there. They pay car and health insurance, petrol for the car (runs $6 a gallon!), language lessons, any vacations I go on with the family, riding lessons, and 260 euros a month. Now 260 E a month doesn’t seem like a lot, but I will have no real reason to spend the money because I don’t have to pay for anything unless I want to go out. The fact that they’ll pay for riding lessons sold me on the family as Dagmar is thrilled that they will have someone who can help out with the horses. They even have a few neighbors who raise Hanoverians. One gentleman in particular has a recently developed heart condition and cannot ride his mare as much as he used to, so he needs someone to exercise her. She says that she will be happy to introduce me to the trainers and breeders in the area so that I may be able to work for them on the weekends if I would like but I have to do all the follow up work, which only gives me greater motivation to learn German. I get to learn German too, which should be interesting. Freddy, my German housemate, has already promised to get me started while I’m in Wales so I am not completely lost when I get there. Oh, and I also get 4 weeks paid vacation.
I don’t think it will be hard to transition from Wales to Germany. After all, I already feel like the mom to the people I live with, including the 50-year-old dad, since I clean up after them all the time. I’d rather clean up after 4 people instead of 7! I do have a plane ticket home that I need to use, so I will fly home July 12 and return to Germany August 14 with Dagmar, Leena, and Lariska since they will be in Chicago visiting Dagmar’s family. (Jurgen’s mother lives next door to the family and helps out with the girls when needed.) I checked references on the family with past au pairs. One au pair, from Poland, has worked for them twice and absolutely loves the family. She tries to visit in the summer and at Christmas each year.
So, yeah … I’m moving to Germany. Never thought I’d go there, mainly because of the whole German language thing. But I think it will be a great experience. I’ll learn German and live with a family that I think I will fit quite well with. Dagmar and I have been open about everything – expectations, chaos of farm life, everything. She is completely open to letting me cook as they have yet to have an au pair that could cook. She also does a lot of canning – she makes her own apple juice and apple sauce in the fall from their orchard! How cool is that! I told her I only ate chicken and she said that was fine since the girls like that best. And, my one big concern was relieved when she said that they do not slaughter their pigs. Had they done that, I would not have been able to accept the job offer as I would have thought of Babe the pig and Sammy the cow (from Equine Athletics). So my mind is at ease and I move in August.
Now for all of you who say I am demeaning myself by working such a job with a Master's degree, well ... I don't want to hear it. As I told my elderly (pushy and male-chauvinist) housemate the other day, I am young. Europe is my playground. And just because I am female does not mean that I have to be at home, married, pregnant, and cooking. I have a life to live and I plan on living it the way I want. Not the way some male who believes women should stay in the house thinks I should. And I told him that if I could live with our housemates, including him, for a year, then I can live in Germany for a year with this family because anything would be better than this.
So now I invite all comments that I just know you are wanting to share with me … especially from my anti-feminist group of followers who may enjoy a good laugh to think that I am relegating myself to the kitchen. Though I must remind you that if I ever cook for you, you should beware what you eat … you never know what “spices” I used. ;-)
Yes, I said Germany. As in the people who speak German which I have no knowledge of. Yes, the Germany that is next to France and some other countries (just because I taught Geography doesn’t mean I remember it!).
Now you’re next question will be, “What are you going to do there?” Well, the obvious answer is working. Now I have spoken of getting my TEFL certification and applying for jobs in Paris. I could always do that in Germany, but instead, I am really going to throw you for a loop. I am moving to Germany to become an au pair for a year. Now, for those of you who do not know what an au pair is, I must explain. An au pair typically is a young girl who moves to another country, lives with a family who has children, and essentially becomes a live-in baby-sitter for a period of time. I like to think of her as a big sister to the kids. Most work 30 hours a week – getting the kids to school, cooking, cleaning the house, chauffering the kids to after school activities, and the like. They do get a weekly allowance that may seem meager by conventional standards. So, yes, I, Katie Bartlett, Miss Feminist-I-Won’t-Be-a-Housewife-and-Will-Do-What-I-Want, is completely embracing the domestic patriarchal world to move into a kitchen and look after kids. I told you I would throw you for a loop! Now don’t think I am bowing to all the crap I argue against. Instead I see myself as embracing the domestic life for a year only because it benefits me. And, after all, I am not one to do what people think I should do (i.e. moved to Wales for a year instead of getting a degree at home or working). Consider this my rebellion against your expectations of me. After all, if you tell me I can’t do something, then I probably will go and do it … and remarkably well, I might add.
So here I am, moving to Germany. Now let me tell you about what exactly I am doing. The family I am, in a sense, adopting for a year live on a farm in the northern region of Germany. They are 2 hours from Hamburg (big city) and 20 minutes from Cuxhaven (tourist area because of the awesome beaches). The father is German, the mother is American. Dagmar (mom) grew up in Chicago in a Germany family, went to the University of IL and got her degree in engineering. She moved to Germany to work for DOW, got married to Jurgen, and now they have two daughters who are 5 and 7. Because Dagmar was raised in the US, the family does speak English. Like I said, they live on a farm. They raise up to 400 piglets at any given time as well as farm the land. Dagmar will begin student teaching this fall since she is no longer working for DOW. They are owned by 4 cats, 3 horses, and a dog, so I think I will fit in quite well. The girls and Dagmar take riding lessons weekly. The girls also have a variety of after school activities. I will be responsible for getting the girls on the bus for school, cleaning up after breakfast, cooking/heating lunch, and making sure the girls do their homework. I will drive them to their various activities, including riding lessons. Essentially, I will work 30 hours a week and have the weekends off. That’s what I do for the family.
Now my benefits are pretty sweet in my opinion. First off, they provide me with my own private room and bath (which Dagmar has just informed me that I will get to redecorate once I move in). I have complete run of the kitchen as far as food goes, so I can eat whatever is there. They pay car and health insurance, petrol for the car (runs $6 a gallon!), language lessons, any vacations I go on with the family, riding lessons, and 260 euros a month. Now 260 E a month doesn’t seem like a lot, but I will have no real reason to spend the money because I don’t have to pay for anything unless I want to go out. The fact that they’ll pay for riding lessons sold me on the family as Dagmar is thrilled that they will have someone who can help out with the horses. They even have a few neighbors who raise Hanoverians. One gentleman in particular has a recently developed heart condition and cannot ride his mare as much as he used to, so he needs someone to exercise her. She says that she will be happy to introduce me to the trainers and breeders in the area so that I may be able to work for them on the weekends if I would like but I have to do all the follow up work, which only gives me greater motivation to learn German. I get to learn German too, which should be interesting. Freddy, my German housemate, has already promised to get me started while I’m in Wales so I am not completely lost when I get there. Oh, and I also get 4 weeks paid vacation.
I don’t think it will be hard to transition from Wales to Germany. After all, I already feel like the mom to the people I live with, including the 50-year-old dad, since I clean up after them all the time. I’d rather clean up after 4 people instead of 7! I do have a plane ticket home that I need to use, so I will fly home July 12 and return to Germany August 14 with Dagmar, Leena, and Lariska since they will be in Chicago visiting Dagmar’s family. (Jurgen’s mother lives next door to the family and helps out with the girls when needed.) I checked references on the family with past au pairs. One au pair, from Poland, has worked for them twice and absolutely loves the family. She tries to visit in the summer and at Christmas each year.
So, yeah … I’m moving to Germany. Never thought I’d go there, mainly because of the whole German language thing. But I think it will be a great experience. I’ll learn German and live with a family that I think I will fit quite well with. Dagmar and I have been open about everything – expectations, chaos of farm life, everything. She is completely open to letting me cook as they have yet to have an au pair that could cook. She also does a lot of canning – she makes her own apple juice and apple sauce in the fall from their orchard! How cool is that! I told her I only ate chicken and she said that was fine since the girls like that best. And, my one big concern was relieved when she said that they do not slaughter their pigs. Had they done that, I would not have been able to accept the job offer as I would have thought of Babe the pig and Sammy the cow (from Equine Athletics). So my mind is at ease and I move in August.
Now for all of you who say I am demeaning myself by working such a job with a Master's degree, well ... I don't want to hear it. As I told my elderly (pushy and male-chauvinist) housemate the other day, I am young. Europe is my playground. And just because I am female does not mean that I have to be at home, married, pregnant, and cooking. I have a life to live and I plan on living it the way I want. Not the way some male who believes women should stay in the house thinks I should. And I told him that if I could live with our housemates, including him, for a year, then I can live in Germany for a year with this family because anything would be better than this.
So now I invite all comments that I just know you are wanting to share with me … especially from my anti-feminist group of followers who may enjoy a good laugh to think that I am relegating myself to the kitchen. Though I must remind you that if I ever cook for you, you should beware what you eat … you never know what “spices” I used. ;-)
04 March 2007
Playing in Bath
Yesterday the uni provided a bus to Bath, England, a 2-1/2 hour drive from Swansea. Leaving at 8:30am, we would arrive in bath by 11am & have until 5:30pm to explore the town. Bath is a very historic place (as are most places in England, it seems). Now before we discuss what I saw in Bath, you need a little historical context because some people hear "Bath" & go "huh?" So, we should all thank Wikipedia for the following info I will give you.
Bath is in South West England & its claim to fame around some baths fed by the only 3 naturally occurring hot springs (over 80°F) in the UK. Most people associate it with Roman spas but it is suggested that it was founded earlier & people believed the waters cured many illnesses. It became a resort city for the wealthy during Elizabeth I's time & maintained that reputation until the Georgian times. Now it is populated by 80,000 people & college students.
Historically speaking, Bath dates to the Celts & Romans with the main spring treated as a shrine to the goddess Sulis by the Celts. The Romans invaded Britain in 43 AD & began identifying Sulis with the Roman goddess Minerva. Once they took over, they built grand temples & bathing complexes but in the late 4th century, the Roman Empire fell into decline. Some believe that Bath was the site of the Battle of Mons Badonicus (c. 500 AD) where King Arthur defeated the Saxons. How much truth is in this? Well, we don't since the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle mentions Bath falling to the West Saxons after the Battle of Deorham in 577. The A-Ss are the ones who gave Bath its present name. King William Rufus granted the city to royal physician John of Tours, who became Bishop and Abbot of Bath in 1088. He planned and began a much larger church as his cathedral, but by the 15th century, the later bishops preferred the city Wells & moved the bishop's palace there. Bath Cathedral fell into great disrepair. It was rebuilt in on a smaller schale in 1500 but the Bath Priory was dissolved in 1539. Henry VIII let it fall into greater disrepair & it was not restored until the Elizabethan period when the city drew the wealthy to the spas. Bath became an official English city in 1590. By the Georgian times (18th c), there became a continuing demand for elegant accomodation for the fashionable visitors. Architects John Wood the elder and son John Wood the younger laid out the new quarters, giving an impression of palatial scale and classical decorum by the identical facades. The city declined as a fashionable resort in the 19th century but not before Jane Austen visited. Jane Austen, writer of the popular Pride & Prejudice & others, lived in the city from 1801 - 1806 though she never liked the city. Despite this dislike, the city has honored her with the Jane Austen Centre. Two novels (Northanger Abby & Persuasion) are largely set in the city. In 1822 one of Bath's most famous residents, William Thomas Beckford (novelist), moved to the city. During WWII, Bath was hit by 3 air raids (25 - 27 April 1942) by the Luftwaffe, part of the Baedeker Blitz that damaged/destroyed 19,000+ buildings and killed 400+ people. The historical buildings were reconstructed.
Now what I saw:
Bath Abbey is probably the coolest building I saw. Though it looks really old, it really isn't compared to other British religious buildings. Originally it was constructed as a Norman church but was rebuilt in the early 16th century, transforming it with gothic-style flying buttresses.
Bath Abbey from the outside.
A close up of the ladder - possibly Jacob's?
The inside
Check out the fanned vault ceiling!
My relatives! The Bartlett's are buried here. I enlarged the photo, hoping you can read it. In case you can't, the first slab reads:
Bartlett Little of this city who died March 14, 1888 Aged 84 and Jane his wife who died July 7, 1885 Aged 73.
The second slab reads:
Edward Bartlett, Clara Jane, Olivia Timbrell, Laura Jane, Henry Homer, and Graham. Can't read the bottom part
An American flag with 48 stars!
Bath is in South West England & its claim to fame around some baths fed by the only 3 naturally occurring hot springs (over 80°F) in the UK. Most people associate it with Roman spas but it is suggested that it was founded earlier & people believed the waters cured many illnesses. It became a resort city for the wealthy during Elizabeth I's time & maintained that reputation until the Georgian times. Now it is populated by 80,000 people & college students.
Historically speaking, Bath dates to the Celts & Romans with the main spring treated as a shrine to the goddess Sulis by the Celts. The Romans invaded Britain in 43 AD & began identifying Sulis with the Roman goddess Minerva. Once they took over, they built grand temples & bathing complexes but in the late 4th century, the Roman Empire fell into decline. Some believe that Bath was the site of the Battle of Mons Badonicus (c. 500 AD) where King Arthur defeated the Saxons. How much truth is in this? Well, we don't since the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle mentions Bath falling to the West Saxons after the Battle of Deorham in 577. The A-Ss are the ones who gave Bath its present name. King William Rufus granted the city to royal physician John of Tours, who became Bishop and Abbot of Bath in 1088. He planned and began a much larger church as his cathedral, but by the 15th century, the later bishops preferred the city Wells & moved the bishop's palace there. Bath Cathedral fell into great disrepair. It was rebuilt in on a smaller schale in 1500 but the Bath Priory was dissolved in 1539. Henry VIII let it fall into greater disrepair & it was not restored until the Elizabethan period when the city drew the wealthy to the spas. Bath became an official English city in 1590. By the Georgian times (18th c), there became a continuing demand for elegant accomodation for the fashionable visitors. Architects John Wood the elder and son John Wood the younger laid out the new quarters, giving an impression of palatial scale and classical decorum by the identical facades. The city declined as a fashionable resort in the 19th century but not before Jane Austen visited. Jane Austen, writer of the popular Pride & Prejudice & others, lived in the city from 1801 - 1806 though she never liked the city. Despite this dislike, the city has honored her with the Jane Austen Centre. Two novels (Northanger Abby & Persuasion) are largely set in the city. In 1822 one of Bath's most famous residents, William Thomas Beckford (novelist), moved to the city. During WWII, Bath was hit by 3 air raids (25 - 27 April 1942) by the Luftwaffe, part of the Baedeker Blitz that damaged/destroyed 19,000+ buildings and killed 400+ people. The historical buildings were reconstructed.
Now what I saw:
Bath Abbey is probably the coolest building I saw. Though it looks really old, it really isn't compared to other British religious buildings. Originally it was constructed as a Norman church but was rebuilt in the early 16th century, transforming it with gothic-style flying buttresses.
Bath Abbey from the outside.
A close up of the ladder - possibly Jacob's?
The inside
Check out the fanned vault ceiling!
My relatives! The Bartlett's are buried here. I enlarged the photo, hoping you can read it. In case you can't, the first slab reads:Bartlett Little of this city who died March 14, 1888 Aged 84 and Jane his wife who died July 7, 1885 Aged 73.
The second slab reads:
Edward Bartlett, Clara Jane, Olivia Timbrell, Laura Jane, Henry Homer, and Graham. Can't read the bottom part
An American flag with 48 stars!The Pump Room:
The outside of the pump room.
Inside the Pump Room - now it's a posh restaurant.
The domed ceiling which I thought was gorgeous. Flowers remind me of the ones in the Musee D'Orsay in Paris.
I thought she was pretty.
My new boyfriend, Charles Dickens, though I don't think we'll get along well 'cause I don't particuarly care for his work. Now if it were Wilkie Collins ... well, we'd be on our way!
The Roman Baths:
The entrance to the Roman Baths
From the Pump Room - the waters are so green & yucky looking!
A closer view
These guys live on top of the roof. All of the inscriptions are in Latin, which I cannot read of course.
Close up of our Roman centurions.
Some guy? Made out of stone?
The original drain that still functions today!
This one looks really gross! Another drain.
A couple getting their wedding photos taken ... so I took the opportunity to take my own. She had a very pretty dress. Wish the US had cool things like this to do wedding photos...
We also went to the Jane Austen Centre, but I didn't take any photos. And we had proper high tea, but again no photos. Overall a really cool town. Wish I had gone to uni there instead of in Swansea. It's easier to navigate on foot! And it's not as far from London! And just to give you an idea of some famous people from Bath or lived there, here's a few you may recognize.
The outside of the pump room.
Inside the Pump Room - now it's a posh restaurant.
The domed ceiling which I thought was gorgeous. Flowers remind me of the ones in the Musee D'Orsay in Paris.
I thought she was pretty.
My new boyfriend, Charles Dickens, though I don't think we'll get along well 'cause I don't particuarly care for his work. Now if it were Wilkie Collins ... well, we'd be on our way!The Roman Baths:
The entrance to the Roman Baths
From the Pump Room - the waters are so green & yucky looking!
A closer view
These guys live on top of the roof. All of the inscriptions are in Latin, which I cannot read of course.
Close up of our Roman centurions.
Some guy? Made out of stone?
The original drain that still functions today!
This one looks really gross! Another drain.
A couple getting their wedding photos taken ... so I took the opportunity to take my own. She had a very pretty dress. Wish the US had cool things like this to do wedding photos...
We also went to the Jane Austen Centre, but I didn't take any photos. And we had proper high tea, but again no photos. Overall a really cool town. Wish I had gone to uni there instead of in Swansea. It's easier to navigate on foot! And it's not as far from London! And just to give you an idea of some famous people from Bath or lived there, here's a few you may recognize.
Famous People
Thomas Gainsborough (painter), Sir Thomas Lawrence (painter), Sit Isaac Pitman (invented shorthand), Sophie Cramb (mini-skirt inventor), Jane Austen (novelist), Henry Fielding (novelist_, Richard Brinsley Sheridan (playwright), Van Morrison (singer) William Herschel (astronomer, discovered Uranus with 7-foot long telescope, musician), Richard Lovell Edgeworth (writer, inventor), Richard J. Roberts (Nobel prize winning biochemist)Lived in Bath in exile
Louis XVIII (before ascending the French throne), Napoleon III (before becoming President then Emperor of France), Haile Selassie I (during WWII)
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