Sitting on a Secret

Many of you, friends and family, have posed the one question I thoroughly dislike these days: “What are you doing next year after you leave Wales?” Well, me being me, always finds a way to skirt the issue, answering with an elusive “I don’t know.” And I know how much so many of you dislike this answer. So I usually concluded with “I’ll figure something out.” Teaching at OCHS theoretically has been out of the question since I would not be finished with dissertation writing until September or October at the latest. I toyed with taking a summer course at Swansea to get my Teaching English as a Foreign Language certification, even sent out some job applications to language schools in Paris to begin teaching in September, but alas, the French don’t want me. I really had no desire to come back to the US just yet, after all I would only be working as a substitute teacher and at Bath and Body Works. Frankly, I’ve done the substitute teaching stint for 6-weeks and as much as I enjoyed it, I’d rather have my own classroom and not someone else’s. BBW is always a nice thought, but I doubt I would get enough hours to satisfy my need to do something for a year. Honestly, my options in the US were quite limited if I didn’t return by August to teach. I could always do another degree – after all, Franciscan University thought I was entering this fall until I emailed them to inform them that I was not. But I have found something to do for a year. Something that will probably shock, well, all of you. So, for that reason, I hope you are sitting down, which you should be anyway if you are at your computer reading this. I, dear family and friends, am moving to Germany in August.

Yes, I said Germany. As in the people who speak German which I have no knowledge of. Yes, the Germany that is next to France and some other countries (just because I taught Geography doesn’t mean I remember it!).

Now you’re next question will be, “What are you going to do there?” Well, the obvious answer is working. Now I have spoken of getting my TEFL certification and applying for jobs in Paris. I could always do that in Germany, but instead, I am really going to throw you for a loop. I am moving to Germany to become an au pair for a year. Now, for those of you who do not know what an au pair is, I must explain. An au pair typically is a young girl who moves to another country, lives with a family who has children, and essentially becomes a live-in baby-sitter for a period of time. I like to think of her as a big sister to the kids. Most work 30 hours a week – getting the kids to school, cooking, cleaning the house, chauffering the kids to after school activities, and the like. They do get a weekly allowance that may seem meager by conventional standards. So, yes, I, Katie Bartlett, Miss Feminist-I-Won’t-Be-a-Housewife-and-Will-Do-What-I-Want, is completely embracing the domestic patriarchal world to move into a kitchen and look after kids. I told you I would throw you for a loop! Now don’t think I am bowing to all the crap I argue against. Instead I see myself as embracing the domestic life for a year only because it benefits me. And, after all, I am not one to do what people think I should do (i.e. moved to Wales for a year instead of getting a degree at home or working). Consider this my rebellion against your expectations of me. After all, if you tell me I can’t do something, then I probably will go and do it … and remarkably well, I might add.

So here I am, moving to Germany. Now let me tell you about what exactly I am doing. The family I am, in a sense, adopting for a year live on a farm in the northern region of Germany. They are 2 hours from Hamburg (big city) and 20 minutes from Cuxhaven (tourist area because of the awesome beaches). The father is German, the mother is American. Dagmar (mom) grew up in Chicago in a Germany family, went to the University of IL and got her degree in engineering. She moved to Germany to work for DOW, got married to Jurgen, and now they have two daughters who are 5 and 7. Because Dagmar was raised in the US, the family does speak English. Like I said, they live on a farm. They raise up to 400 piglets at any given time as well as farm the land. Dagmar will begin student teaching this fall since she is no longer working for DOW. They are owned by 4 cats, 3 horses, and a dog, so I think I will fit in quite well. The girls and Dagmar take riding lessons weekly. The girls also have a variety of after school activities. I will be responsible for getting the girls on the bus for school, cleaning up after breakfast, cooking/heating lunch, and making sure the girls do their homework. I will drive them to their various activities, including riding lessons. Essentially, I will work 30 hours a week and have the weekends off. That’s what I do for the family.

Now my benefits are pretty sweet in my opinion. First off, they provide me with my own private room and bath (which Dagmar has just informed me that I will get to redecorate once I move in). I have complete run of the kitchen as far as food goes, so I can eat whatever is there. They pay car and health insurance, petrol for the car (runs $6 a gallon!), language lessons, any vacations I go on with the family, riding lessons, and 260 euros a month. Now 260 E a month doesn’t seem like a lot, but I will have no real reason to spend the money because I don’t have to pay for anything unless I want to go out. The fact that they’ll pay for riding lessons sold me on the family as Dagmar is thrilled that they will have someone who can help out with the horses. They even have a few neighbors who raise Hanoverians. One gentleman in particular has a recently developed heart condition and cannot ride his mare as much as he used to, so he needs someone to exercise her. She says that she will be happy to introduce me to the trainers and breeders in the area so that I may be able to work for them on the weekends if I would like but I have to do all the follow up work, which only gives me greater motivation to learn German. I get to learn German too, which should be interesting. Freddy, my German housemate, has already promised to get me started while I’m in Wales so I am not completely lost when I get there. Oh, and I also get 4 weeks paid vacation.

I don’t think it will be hard to transition from Wales to Germany. After all, I already feel like the mom to the people I live with, including the 50-year-old dad, since I clean up after them all the time. I’d rather clean up after 4 people instead of 7! I do have a plane ticket home that I need to use, so I will fly home July 12 and return to Germany August 14 with Dagmar, Leena, and Lariska since they will be in Chicago visiting Dagmar’s family. (Jurgen’s mother lives next door to the family and helps out with the girls when needed.) I checked references on the family with past au pairs. One au pair, from Poland, has worked for them twice and absolutely loves the family. She tries to visit in the summer and at Christmas each year.

So, yeah … I’m moving to Germany. Never thought I’d go there, mainly because of the whole German language thing. But I think it will be a great experience. I’ll learn German and live with a family that I think I will fit quite well with. Dagmar and I have been open about everything – expectations, chaos of farm life, everything. She is completely open to letting me cook as they have yet to have an au pair that could cook. She also does a lot of canning – she makes her own apple juice and apple sauce in the fall from their orchard! How cool is that! I told her I only ate chicken and she said that was fine since the girls like that best. And, my one big concern was relieved when she said that they do not slaughter their pigs. Had they done that, I would not have been able to accept the job offer as I would have thought of Babe the pig and Sammy the cow (from Equine Athletics). So my mind is at ease and I move in August.

Now for all of you who say I am demeaning myself by working such a job with a Master's degree, well ... I don't want to hear it. As I told my elderly (pushy and male-chauvinist) housemate the other day, I am young. Europe is my playground. And just because I am female does not mean that I have to be at home, married, pregnant, and cooking. I have a life to live and I plan on living it the way I want. Not the way some male who believes women should stay in the house thinks I should. And I told him that if I could live with our housemates, including him, for a year, then I can live in Germany for a year with this family because anything would be better than this.

So now I invite all comments that I just know you are wanting to share with me … especially from my anti-feminist group of followers who may enjoy a good laugh to think that I am relegating myself to the kitchen. Though I must remind you that if I ever cook for you, you should beware what you eat … you never know what “spices” I used. ;-)