Let's Talk About ...?

Love?

Yup, let's talk about love. Very strange coming from me, eh? Well, when you get around Michelle's housemates, you never know WHAT topic of conversation comes up & some how we got on the topic of love (probably because everyone in Michelle's house (& my own) has a significant other & Michelle & I don't.

So, we're sitting in the kitchen at Michelle's after a delicious dinner of spaghetti that we made for everyone. We'd just cleaned up & Raza (from Pakistan) tells Michelle he wants her to listen to a song he had on his phone. Now, first and foremost, you must all know that Michelle has a very romantic group of guys (5 of them actually) that she shares a house with and you never know what they are going to say or suggest (i.e. one suggested we go to the beach at midnight to listen to the waves crash against the rocks, but we never did make it). So these guys are hopeless romantics. Yes, for all of you American women reading this - there is hope for the guys! You just have to go to Europe & Asia to find them!

Continuing ... so we listen to the song and it is very romantic and beautiful (and I would love to get the sheet music for piano for it!). Then I turn to Michelle and say "Ya know? An American guy would NEVER in a million years ask a girl to listen to a romantic song that he had on his phone." Her reply - "You're right!" Well, of course I'm right because we've been discussing the lack of US male emotion for quite some time (her guys do not understand that our guys will not open up).

So Shanu (from India), Raza, Haras (Raza's brother), and Jemia (female, from Nigeria) are floored by my statement. They look at me as if I had just grown another head. Maybe I had, who knows? So Michelle and I had to explain how relationships, romance, and love worked in the US. Now, granted you are asking probably the 2 most cynical females to explain this and our view is very skewed, but that's what they got.

First Jemia had to ask if we had ever been in a relationship with a guy - now her conception of relationship is completely different than our conception. She means having dated for a long time (Michelle's longest was 3 months, clearly NOT an actual relationship) and you had to have told the guy you loved them. Well, Michelle and I do not utter that word unless we mean it. And Jemia could not even conceive of that. She told us that if you are in a relationship, then you love that person. We explained to her that, no, we like that person, and maybe we love that person ... but we had never gotten beyond the like stage. Maybe that's why Michelle's longest relationship only lasted 3 months?

We then told them that American women, at least in our experience with our friends, are not always open with their feelings. So we had to give an example and since I was sitting next to Shanu, I got to be the example. Essentially, we claimed, if I liked Shanu I probably would not tell him. I would go tell Michelle and my other friends and then I might tell him. Given my (and Michelle's) personality type, I would not walk up to Shanu and tell him that I wanted to date him. Shanu looked at us in horror! He could not believe it! He says that if he liked me, he would come tell me. Simple as that. Well, now it is the American's turn to look at him in horror!! Oh, you would never do that in the States! And very rarely does a guy do that!

So Michelle and I got the bright idea that some time next week, she is going to go knock on Shianu's door late at night and tell him that she has to be with him, that she has hidden her true feelings for him and that she loves him. We'll see what he has to say then ...

Her housemates could not believe that Americans are not really that romantic - we don't suggest going to the beach at midnight to hear the ocean. We don't SHARE our dream dates (which, by the way, are very interesting to hear! One wants a candlelit dinner on the beach followed by slowdancing at the house; another wants to go to dinner and then ride off on his motorcycle with the girl behind him) as openly as they do - girls do whenever they have a girls' night out maybe.

But really? How often do 4 guys (Moos from Turkey wasn't here the evening we discussed love) sit around a table with 3 girls and tell their dream dates? And how do you think the 2 Americans in the group felt?? Caught completely off guard!

So, American ladies - there is hope. If you want to find a guy willing to talk about romance and love, come visit Swansea and you can meet Michelle's housemates or just visit Europe. Apparently we've got some hopeless romantics out there.

So, let's talk about life; let's talk about food (our favorite topic); but most of all, let's talk about love. Whatever guys. :-)